Mrs Bennet goes to Friendly's
by xxhermionesnapexx
Summary: Mrs. Bennet goes to have dinner Friendly's. One shot. RR Homework assignment, but bear with me. Incredibly short & stupid, but kinda funny. I think. Anyway, just read it even if it does sound stupid


**Mrs. Bennett goes to Friendly's**

            Head held high, Mrs. Bennet thrust herself through the horde of hungry families waiting to be seated.  Gaining the front, she looked from side to side, finally spotting a waitress in a blue shirt.  The waitress approached and wearily questioned the rather large woman as to the size of her party.  When Mrs. Bennet replied that it was only herself, she was shown to a small table situated in the middle of the happily chattering Friday night supper crowd and handed a menu.  

            Before Mrs. Bennet could request a drink to calm her nerves – perhaps a scotch – the lady with the blue shirt, who had distractedly introduced herself as Julie, had moved to another table.  Regarding her surroundings, Mrs. Bennet grabbed her menu and began to fan herself, muttering to herself "Oh my poor nerves.  What a racket!  They really have no compassion for my poor nerves."  

            At that moment a voice from the table behind hers hesitantly questioned, "Mrs. Bennet?" 

            Swiveling her head to see who had spoken, she exclaimed, "Oh my dear Mrs. Peterson!  I never expected to see _you_ here!  Why, only the other day a good friend of mine suggested this restaurant to me – you know, I do believe that was the very same day that that wonderful Mr. Bingley first showed an interest in my dear Jane.  Do you know that he asked her to dance _four times_ at a wedding we attended?  It was my dear friend Mrs. Grant's daughter's wedding.  Mr. Grant works on Wall Street, and Mr. Bingley is his supervisor!  He is just so rich! And ever so handsome!" 

            "I believe it was I who suggested the restaurant to you Mrs. Bennet," Mrs. Peterson calmly replied, "You forget that I was also at the wedding." 

            "Ah yes.  Of course you were," said Mrs. Bennet, waving her hand as if to dismiss her mistake, "Your charming Tanya looked simply lovely.  Did you get a chance to see Jane's dress?  I bought it for her only the other day at Barney's!  And I do believe that Mr. Bingley just loved it!"  

            "Of course," Mrs. Peterson replied politely, but was saved from any further conversation by the arrival of Mrs. Bennet's waitress.  

            "Good evening, Ma'am," exclaimed the waitress, whose name pin read Emily, "What can I get for you tonight?"  

            "I would like a–" Mrs. Bennet peered down at her menu for a moment before pointing to a picture, "steak."  She paused, during which time Emily wrote down her order, then added "And a scotch.  For my nerves – you know."

            "Of course," replied Emily, giving Mrs. Bennet a strange look before hurrying off.  

_**Forty Minutes Later**_

Mrs. Bennet was becoming rather flustered.  She had been sitting there for quite some time and her food had yet to be served.  Fanning herself quite feverishly, she contemplated what she should do.  She really did want that scotch, but the incessant chattering of the children surrounding her – none of whom were anywhere near as beautiful as Jane or as charming as Lydia – was unsettling her already unstable nerves.  

She was unable to inform Mrs. Peterson of her expectations for her daughters' futures – Jane's especially –, because the woman seemed, for some reason that Mrs. Bennet couldn't quite fathom, to be far more interested in paying attention to her children than in listening to her dear friend.  

So Mrs. Bennet sat fanning herself until her food finally arrived.  Hardly glancing at her steak as it was placed before her, Mrs. Bennet reached for her scotch, proceeding to daintily sip at it until it was gone.  

Thinking that her nerves had been calmed by the drink, Mrs. Bennet chanced a glance down at her plate.  She gasped in horror at what she saw before her, and loudly exclaimed, "What _is _that crumbly mess on top of my dinner?  I do believe that I ordered a steak, not a plate of granola!  Oh my poor nerves!"  Ignoring the strange and disapproving glances she was receiving from her neighbors in response to her indecorous behavior, Mrs. Bennet picked up her menu and resumed her fanning.  

Extremely short, I know.  And probably quite boring as well.  Whatever.  It was a homework assignment.  I found it quite amusing.  My friend did 'Mr. Collins gets in an automobile accident.'  Anyway, read and review, even to tell me how stupid it is!! 


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